In this moment, I am completely calm and peaceful. In front of me, a book of gentle meditations for a peaceful yoga mind, my journal for writing and my first adult colouring book, Paris Street Style. Oh, and I can’t forget, a rich and creamy cappuccino made with coconut milk sprinkled with cinnamon and cacao on top – perfection! I don’t know if it’s just everything else that is in this moment that is making me say this, but I swear this is the best cappuccino I have ever had!
For the first time in my life I have recognized in myself that I needed a break, and not the kind of break where you go down south for a week and drink Pina Coladas at eleven in the morning just because, slather yourself with sunscreen and lounge by the pool for eight hours and indulge yourself in copious amounts of mouth-watering foods you wouldn’t typically eat at home. Although that all sounds very ideal, I needed a break where I could selfishly take time for myself to relax, do things that make me happy and I enjoy and, lastly, to clear my head of all the clutter to think more clearly and to listen to what my body is telling me.
This was something that was very difficult for me to acknowledge and accept in myself. Luckily, I am blessed and surrounded by a great group of family and friends who, for some, might not fully understand where I am coming from but have done their very best to do so and have supported me and offered an ear to listen throughout this process.
For awhile now, I have been feeling completely lost and confused, all over the map like I was going a million different directions, yet stuck with nowhere to go. I finally came to a breaking point where I knew something had to change, but I wasn’t quite sure what that was or how I was going to get there. So, I made a decision, something that has become very difficult for me to do, calling the shot, making a move and sticking to it. It’s only the beginning of this journey for myself, but I have already learned a few things that are essential in moving forward when you feel like you are at a roadblock in life.
- It’s okay to ask for help.
- Putting yourself, your body and your mind’s needs first is not selfish.
- You are allowed to feel, and your feelings are legitimate.
As I sit here writing this, I am having a lot of doubts and insecurities about sharing this blog post, but I have come to realize that people, myself included, appreciate and feel a sense of connection to someone when they are genuine and real. For a long time, I kept myself in a dark corner when it came to my diabetes and, when I finally opened myself up to the type 1 diabetes community, I was blown away when I was welcomed with compassion and understanding. With my anxiety, I don’t want to waste anytime staying hidden and living in fear of judgement. I want to share my story with others because who knows who may read this and resonate with what I am saying and think to themselves, “That’s me. I get it. I am not alone.”